Expressing supposedly “difficult” feelings is an integral part of our life, because it somehow helps us overcome the feeling of sadness. Yet for some reason it is not, out of fear of being judged as being seemingly weak by society. As a result, this has made some of us push past our feelings without never addressing or processing them. Then we go through our daily lives feeling sad, and our life becomes a constant battle to avoid that sneaking feeling of unhappiness.
Have you ever experienced something terrible in your life? How did you overcome it? Or are you still struggling with these feelings?
Well, I have. A family member raped me at the age of 15. It was difficult to speak about it with any and everyone, but I identified some people in my life at the time whom I trusted and spoke about it with. Although one of these people betrayed me by telling someone else about what I confided in him with, the PROCESS OF ADDRESSING, not only the feeling of my innocence being taken away but the embarrassing feeling that was associated about being judged (e.g. my fault) by others, has helped me and that’s why I can write openly about it today.
At the time, I could not have afforded professional advice, but with emotional support from other family members and loved ones, I was able to overcome the difficult feelings associated with the experience. Today, I greet this family member when I see him. Although, I am always reminded of the incident when I see him, I do not have any malice in my heart towards him. I am not sure if it is normal, but it has been my way to find happiness in my life.
Not everyone finds expressing feelings easy, but the stereotype associated with a strong masculine identity as weak , makes it in particularly difficult for men to express “difficult” feelings.
Is it really true that men aren’t adept to expressing their feeling? Or is because of the stereotype they do not want to seem weak or vulnerable, in particular to another man?
I wish I could have answered that question. Perhaps, more men should reach out to someone to give some insight. That conceivably would be the first step in addressing or overcoming the creeping feeling of unhappiness and mental health issues.